I guess there is nothing wrong in missing the most important person in your life...
Saturday, December 9, 2006
, Posted by gonkyouka at 1:41 PM
A letter laid down on my passed-awar father's coffin. . .
Dear Pa,
Have you ever felt so weak and so empty because of loneliness? Like tears would just roll down from your eyes with no apparent reason? Like you can't see what you're writing anymore when you make a letter? I'm exactly what that is right now Pa. My chest and throat hurts already because I keep on holding back the tears that are about to roll down. I'm not ashamed anymore; I guess there is nothing wrong in missing the most important person in your life. Right now I keep on whispering to God to give me serenity to accept the fact that forever I will be like this. Forever I will keep on missing my father because he is far. With nothing but prayer for comfort. Sometimes I keep on asking why of all the people God has choosen you to be with Him everyday and every night. Why did you need to leave us? Why be we need to be apart?
Dear Pa,
Have you ever felt so weak and so empty because of loneliness? Like tears would just roll down from your eyes with no apparent reason? Like you can't see what you're writing anymore when you make a letter? I'm exactly what that is right now Pa. My chest and throat hurts already because I keep on holding back the tears that are about to roll down. I'm not ashamed anymore; I guess there is nothing wrong in missing the most important person in your life. Right now I keep on whispering to God to give me serenity to accept the fact that forever I will be like this. Forever I will keep on missing my father because he is far. With nothing but prayer for comfort. Sometimes I keep on asking why of all the people God has choosen you to be with Him everyday and every night. Why did you need to leave us? Why be we need to be apart?
I try to answer it myself and the only thing I come up with is that you are "special", that is why. The harsh reality that you are far is enough to kill every nerve in my body. Leaving your wife and children is not something I should be happy about, but it is what God had prepared for you so it is where you are right now. In the very few times we were together I've known that in your heart you had kept an incomparable love that you never fail to shown on us. You are what the most loving father is defined. At the start when I was young I think that you didn't love me because you leave me, but I was wrong.
Now I know better my role is to continue all the things that you plan with your career and with our family. You are a brilliant father, so idealistic, and loving. With all my heart i will be your good son always. I will be as strong and unaraid of the trials as you are, taking loneliness as nothing. To be a son of a far precious father is not easy but because of the love that you yourself never fail to show despite of all the other things that you do when you were alive, I will be in my mother's, sisters', brother's side always. Rest assured that I would do my part as a son the way you do yours as a father. You will have nothing from me that you will be ashamed of. You go on with your new life and just don't forget you will always be in my heart. I love you and miss you in a way no words can describe. I pray that you are happy now wherever you are.
With all my heart,
It seems to be just a letter when you're reading it but knowing that I wasn't in my father's side when I grew up, It hurts so much.
This post is for my father.
Currently have 0 comments: